1. Bike Theft Foiled, Courtesy Of Twitter
2. Tasered Groom Sues Sheriff’s Department
3. Couple Following GPS Unit Stranded For 3 Days
4. Pair Find Stranger Asleep On Sofa Cuddling Bear
5. George Clooney Claims He Would Rather Have Rectal Exam On Live TV Than Join Twitter

1. Woman Chooses Jail Over $7.45 Waffle Bill
2. Police Arrest Two In Same Car For Drunk Driving
3. Woman Attacks Officer With “well-used and bloody female sanitary napkin”
4. Road Rage Woman Passes Traffic on Curb, Rams Police Car
5. Bobcat Driving ATM Thief Ends Up at Bottom of Cliff

Colo. Insurer Decides To Cover Fat Baby After All is a post from: Offbeat News

1. Baby born with 12 fingers, 12 toes
2. Average handbag weighs same as toddler
3. Baby Born With 12 Fingers and Toes
4. Men Find 100 Year Old Safe by Railroad Tracks – What’s Inside?
5. Hooters Orders Waitress To Trim Fat

1. Passenger Opens Plane’s Emergency Exit Door, Walks Out on Wing
2. ’999 Emergency: My Hamster Has Escaped’
3. Parrot Tells Mom About Choking Baby
4. SpongeBob Episode Helps Save Choking Girl
5. Man accused of having sex with donkey fails to appear in court

1. Man Falls From Power Pole, Saved by His Pants
2. The best teenager deterrent? Songs from The Sound of Music
3. 80 Person Group Takes Tain, Without Pants
4. Ice-cream music policeman censured
5. Burglary Suspect Caught After Tripping on Pants That Fell Down

Teen Falls Into Open Manhole While Texting is a post from: Offbeat News

1. Texting Teen Falls Down NYC Manhole; Will Sue City?
2. Study: Texting Does Not Affect Children’s Ability To Spell
3. SpongeBob Episode Helps Save Choking Girl
4. Man Falls 10 Stories In Garbage Chute
5. Girl Falls 14 Stories, Is OK!

1. Sexy ‘Plus-Sized’ Ad Ban Angers Consumers
2. Class Action Lawsuit Over Victoria’s Secret Bra Rash
3. Wanted: highwayman hanged 270 years ago
4. Flight Attendant Charged With Setting Fire To Airplane Bathroom In Flight
5. 14 Year Old Dresses Like Cop and Heads to Police Station, Put to Work

1. Dutch police investigate alleged ecstasy pill
2. CIA Bribes Afghan Warlords with Viagra
3. Man nabbed after trying to pass a $1 Million bill
4. Wife Calls Cops After Husband’s Viagra Results Scare Her
5. City To Give Viagra To Men 70 and Older, Happiness is Important

1. Nevada Prostitutes Offer Free Gas With Services
2. Minnesota Bank Robbed Twice In One Day
3. Man Robs Bank While In Custody
4. Bank Boosts APR To 79.9% To Skirt New Laws
5. Prostitutes see gold at Olympics

1. Facebook Lends Hand In Finding Missing Dog
2. Facebook Post Provides Alibi For Robbery Suspect
3. UK’s UFO Unit Says It Will Destroy Ex-X Files
4. Man Who Hacked Wife To Death Over Facebook Status Sentenced
5. Facebook Campaign Helps Marine Meet Taylor Swift